Oh Happy Fault: Gratitude, Grace, and a Broken Washing Machine (Finding Meaning in Suffering)

“An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered.” - G.K. Chesterton

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“Of all the times…” I caught myself saying, staring at the washing machine dials, hoping for signs of life.

One of our children was sick, we had travel plans and desperately needed to wash laundry. Life was full.  As the faint smell of burnt electronics reached my nose, I felt my cup was starting to overflow.

Those very human emotions started to come up – frustration and even mild resentment. This was just one more inconvenience, one more thing I had to deal with in an already busy season.

As my wife scoured the internet searching for washing alternatives, I grabbed the heavy, half wet load and dumped it into the bathtub while turning on the hot water. I reached in and immediately recoiled in pain. It was far too hot. I noticed my mind saying, “yes, of course that would happen too.”

But like the bubbles rising in the tub, I noticed a new thought surface, this one a question. What if this moment is trying to teach me something?

When Frustration Takes Over

Frustration and anger are part of our emotional repertoire. In moments of frustration the mind says, as my mind so eloquently did: “not now.” While emotions like these are natural, we don’t have to obey them.

With practice (and grace) we can learn to recognize the choice we have in each moment. Whether we give in to our frustration, staying fused with it in the language of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), or step back and observe it.

Viktor Frankl reflected that, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”  I didn’t choose a broken washing machine. I could not fix the situation instantly.

But I was free to choose how I responded to it.

I also was free to choose whether or not I added to my suffering. As difficult as a broken washing machine was, my mind was not helping it with thoughts like “this shouldn’t be happening.”

Amidst the soap suds, I caught myself fusing with my frustration. So, I said to myself out loud: “I notice I am frustrated right now.” Labeling it made space for the next thought “I notice I have a choice in how I respond.” I went through the rest of the ABIDE steps – breathing, inviting in the Spirit and discerning my actions.

In fusion frustration had momentarily gripped me. Now I was holding frustration instead of it holding me. This relationship shift allowed for a perspective shift – and with it a realization.   

Practicing Gratitude in Difficult Times

As I scrubbed my kids clothes in the hot, soapy water - trying to remove leftover peas and apple sauce stains - I was grateful washing machines existed. I was grateful that I lived in an age, where I could order a new one. I was grateful for all the people who made our comfortable lives possible.

We often don’t notice gifts until they are removed. It breaks the cycle of complacency and familiarity. This is one of the reasons the Stoics practiced voluntarily going without.

Seneca wrote: “Set aside a few days to live simply… and ask yourself: ‘Is this what I feared?” Want to appreciate hot showers? Try taking a few cold ones in the middle of winter.

And what the Stoics practiced intentionally; life sometimes gives us unintentionally. As the sweat poured from my brow, what felt like a burden began to feel like an invitation.

The problems remained – kids were still sick, the clothes needed to be washed and our trip was still looming – but my relationship to the problem changed. Gratitude slowly began to replace frustration.

I finished washing the clothes and ordered a new washing machine. Helplessness gave way to steady, committed action.

Finding Joy in the Present Moment

In ACT we often focus on the present moment. Psychologically speaking that is where we can act in accordance with values and in the context of our circumstances. So too in the Christian life. As Fr. Jacques Philippe writes: “God is present in every moment, no matter how ordinary, and this moment is the place where we meet Him.” (Searching for and Maintaining Peace)

Amidst the suds and steam, I noticed my daughter laughing and playing beside me. She curiously asked about what I was doing. She asked how she could help. Her laughter rose above the sounds of the flowing water.

G.K. Chesterton once quipped, “An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered.” A broken washing machine forced us to slow down to a more primitive and simple time.

There were no dragons or pirates, but here we were enjoying the Adventure of the Broken Washing Machine. We weren’t being efficient – but we were having fun.

“Oh Happy Fault”: Finding Meaning in Suffering

In one of the hymns sung on Holy Saturday we exclaim,"Oh happy fault that earned so great, so glorious a Redeemer!" The truth is, we live under the weight of the Fall, Man’s choice to turn away from God. And yet, in the midst of that travesty, God entered in. First, in the midst of our lives at the Incarnation. And then, in the depths of our suffering at the Cross.

God often works through what is broken, whether broken washing machines or wounded people like you and me.

Broken appliances are not a good thing. Neither, of course, are our sins or are pain. But, moments like these invite us to rediscover what it means to find meaning in suffering. Small inconveniences often echo a deeper truth—God brings good from our brokenness. As our Lord declares, “Behold, I make all things new” (Revelation 21:5).

C.S. Lewis, so eloquently writes in The Problem of Pain: “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” Grace so often enters through what we did not choose.

In those inconveniences and “happy faults” of our daily living, pain and frustration can be channels for Grace – if we let them.

What a Broken Washing Machine Taught Me About the Cross

This Lent over 1.4 million people have been praying along with Hallow’s Pray 40 Challenge. I’m one of them. In it, we have been saying a humble yet profound prayer from Mother Olga, “Lord empty me, fill me, use me.”

It’s perhaps not a surprise than that God, in His Providence, allowed my washing machine to break now. Because yes while the washing machine broke, something in me opened.

What I thought was an interruption became an invitation. An invitation to see the Easter story up close.  

Sometimes what breaks is not just an inconvenience – it’s an invitation.

Disclaimer

This post is for informational and inspirational purposes only and does not constitute medical or psychological advice. The content provided here is not a substitute for professional care, diagnosis or treatment. Reading this blog, subscribing to updates or engaging with its content does not establish a therapist-client relationship. Please consult a licensed healthcare professional for personal support.